Not so in my new normal. There is no line really. I write on the weekends, pull product, go to shoots (think about writing, products, and shoots). The girls (and in the case of this past weekend Bryan and my mother) often go with me. Audrey has even started to help beyond just schlepping and hauling, giving me suggestions about ways I could make a piece more fun or interesting (99% of the time she's spot on -- she's good that one).
But after spending 14 years toiling away there, I'm so trained in the ways of corporate America that this blended existence tends to make me feel guilty. Somehow I can't shake the belief that a lack of work boundaries is a bad thing...even if you, gasp, enjoy it.
I was thinking about this a lot on Sunday after the aforementioned family affair of a work weeekend. I was worn out, as due to some scheduling issues, I found myself with three different shoots between Friday and Sunday and the need to return a bulk of my pulls on Saturday. It was more work than I typically do on any weekend, and yet, being able to do it with my tribe made me feel a little bit like I wasn't exactly working. It made it seem a little bit fun. Suffice to say I did not know what to do with that feeling.
So I did what I always do when I don't know what to do about something: I looked at the interwebs (I have a problem, I realize). And I somehow got stuck on Carine Roitfeld. And while I was stuck, I came across a couple of her quotes that made me feel a bit better about the entire enterprise...
Like this one:
I always mix personal life and work, because when you love fashion, it is not work. Fashion becomes a passion. So you don't finish Friday and have the weekend off. You have to mix work with your kids, their education, your family and finally everything comes together very easily. I am very happy with the results. I don't regret anything and I am very close to my family, which was always the most important thing for me. (Hint Mag)And this one too:
My life is mixed with my work, so there’s no weekend, it’s everything mixed – fashion and life. I have a picture of my dad where he is wearing a Peruvian sweater and then we have Helena Christensen wearing the same sweater in a fashion shoot for French Glamour in Peru. Everything is mixed. I think this is charming. It’s something personal. (Dazed digital)
There was no stop and start for Mme Roitfeld, no weekend. (She borrowed her dad's sweater for a fashion shoot for the love of Pete), and, wait for it, she was totally ok with it.
Friends, I'm beginning to think that the key to happiness is this whole "being ok with it" business.
What say you?
15 comments:
I actually think it's a great sign that you're able to blur the lines and still enjoy the whole process. I used to have a very hard line drawn between work and home, and a big reason why was because I didn't love my job - I didn't want to bring it home, didn't want to talk about it - I compartmentalized it. It's wonderful that you're able to share it with your daughters, allow them to see what you do and that you're passionate about it. Being okay with it is key.
You are making LIFE work as one big integrated thing. Who made up the rule that we have to segregate everything into disparate activities? Your girls (and Bryan) are cherished and loved - which is most important - and they get to see you doing what you love and being fulfilled. I think it's great.
Love this- and it's timely for me as this is the last week at my "corporate" job before I start a new job where I will most definitely be blurring those lines. I'll be opening a store and working on events, so while I'm sure there will be a lot more crossover between work time and family time, I'm excited to have my family be part of my new life. I picture my kids hanging out at the store or at the library (where it will be), taking ownership of the space, attending fun author events. I'm hopeful it won't feel so much like work if I love doing it :) I think you're right- if you're ok doing it, and your family is ok, too, don't sweat it!
Ah yes... all kinds of new normals showing up these days! Since the launch of the new blog, my every spare moment is spent preparing content. It's totally cool and totally draining and totally overwhelming. Bye, bye weekends at the park or evenings watching TV with the hubby! Of course, I could complain but it's also totally worth it! ;-)
I think that sentence about being ok with it encapsulates the whole gut feeling approach--which I unequivocally support! Whether it's about work/life balance vs. blending or really anything in life, if it feels ok, it's ok! As someone who overanalyzes, I'm trying to embrace and expand "I'm good with this" and try to forget about anything and anybody that tells me otherwise... :)
i think most people dream to have the kind of career you are describing. when you talk about your work, your life, your family you are truly passionate about it all. cheers to you!
Nice quotes by Carine Roitfeld, they are really very impressive. Enjoying weekend is my favorite. All work and no play will make one dull.
When it all comes together nicely there is nothing more satisfying. Only glitch is when I feel the need to concentrate fully in one direction and the responsibility of the other is calling.
Not only should you be ok with it, you should revel in it. If you keep all the different aspects of your life and your personality compartmentalized, your happiness in one area doesn't have the chance to leak over into another. And, you'll beat yourself up for neglecting one thing in favor of another. Being ok with mixing it all together means the passion you have for one thing can make everything else better. Rising tide lifts all boats.
Being okay with it all is great business. You are doing a splendid job of blending it all in!
Tightly wound, stressed out will take you down heart attack lane. And you don't want that.
Where -- oh where is that yummy coffee in the first photo from?
Hopefully this is what is meant by "having it all". To be able to enjoy doing what you love, with whom you love (maybe not always when you love it) is a gift to be treasured. What a great example you are for the rest of us (and your kids!). Lead the charge. Blur those lines!
as a work-from-home mama, this topic is often, often on my mind. And I think you hit the nail on the head with "being ok with it." If you are ok with it, then that feeling is what will carry over to your kids, your work, your life. i think...
Marina -- the coffee is from Number One here in Dallas. So yummy!
To me, it sounds like a perfect way to raise a family! I am glad that I am not the only one to runs to do a google search about feelings every time I am conflicted :) You are a rock star! And, you are teaching a valuable lesson to your sweet girlies.
Michelle
My lines are blurred as well. My magazine work never ends. It insinuates itself into my evenings, my weekends and even my holidays. I also find myself bringing my kids along. In fact, the other day my son Henry asked to join me on returns! However, there are moments when I wish I was doing something other than dragging my four year old to another store. I still hope to find a little more balance but I do love what I do and I think that is what comes across to my children. I'm happy to read that Carine R. stopped trying to compartmentalize and just accepted her life as life. I'm going to concentrate on that this weekend.
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