First there's the lovely Sunday brunch at my friend Julie's house, as shown in those top four snaps (seriously, how awesome is their house??), followed by scenes from Saturday's trip to Wall's Family Farm to cut down our Christmas tree (a first for the Taylor fam), then there's the bits of holiday decor around the house, and, last but not least, a few shots from my whirlwind overnight trip to NYC last week for work (mostly schlepping around town in the freezing cold, but we did manage to squeeze in a stop at the perfect DwellStudio flagship store, a meal at the fantastic Zoë, and the best margarita I've ever consumed at ABC Kitchen). Based on photographic evidence, we could just leave it at a lovely/splendid/fantastic few days and leave it at that.
But I try to be a real deal gal, and, well, that's not the real deal... Or at least not all of it.
Here's what's not captured in those photos above: the mountain of unfolded laundry occupying the chair in our bedroom, the broken dishwasher, Audrey's massive school project that has her freaking out, the ginormous collective move that my folks and Bryan's mom made into a new house five miles away (more on that later), the (delightful) fact that our cat thinks the window seat in the den is his new litter box (ugh), or the point last week, on the eve of my trip, when I was trying to meet a story deadline for D Home, pack, and get dressed for a double dinner date/joint birthday celebration dinner with dear friends (oh and I had to be up at 4:00 a.m. the next morning to make my flight), when I had a total melt down (think heart racing, palm sweating, full-blown anxiety attack action). It wasn't pretty.
I know in the whole scheme of things, these are first-world problems. I have a comfortable home, plenty of food, a loving family and dear friends, an interesting job, health, safety. I am beyond blessed. But I still felt like I was losing my mind. And I share this not because I want to be a Debbie Downer or ruin your Tuesday or make you feel sorry for me... I'm sharing because I know we're all dealing with this whirlwind, this balancing act that has you feeling like your spectacularly average at everything and stellar at nothing (or maybe that last part's just me), and just posting the pretty photos when there was so much more going on behind them seemed inauthentic and (given how far you guys have come with me) unfair.
The good news is the meltdown, well, melted away (as all melt downs tend to do), helped along by some prioritizing (i.e. deal with the dishwasher later, reschedule dinner), understanding and supportive friends, a few deep breaths, some perspective, food (the fact that I have a tendency to get "hangry" was likely not helping matters), and (most important) an immensely lovely husband that patiently guided me through all of the above.
Onto a new week friends...Oh but my damn dishwasher is still broken.
15 comments:
LOVE u keepin' it real!
thank you for being so honest and authentic! it is so great to see people that i admire struggle with similar bouts of anxiety/stress/frenzy/hangriness... it makes me realize i'm not alone!
thank you!
I love that you cut down your own tree - such an awesome tradition!
And respect you for your honesty - we so often put our best selves forward in social media and it's nice to read something that isn't all gift guides and beauty tips.
One of my favorite all time lines was from Ally McBeal. Courtney Thorne Smith's character asked Ally why her problems seem to be so much bigger than every other person's problems (in a really condescending tone) and her reply: "because they are mine." Sure sometimes problems can seem trivial, but for the person experiencing them they can be enormous. Glad you were able to recover and have a beautiful birthday.
Posts like this are part of the reason I love your blog! Beautiful photos and words that make me smile because I can so relate. Thanks!
Beautiful pics & refreshing authenticity! It's nice to hear(read) that amidst all we have to be thankful for, we are not alone in our meltdowns and feelings of imperfection and inadequacy. I'm glad you were able to stop and breathe and enjoy a bit of beauty on your birthday! xx
"spectacularly average at everything and stellar at nothing" - so well put. We all get there I think especially at this time of year when there are so many extra things to do and so many examples of people doing them perfectly. Thank you for the authenticity. We're trying to focus on the small accomplishments. We might not get all the laundry done today, or even this week, but we got that one load in the dryer . . . after having to wash it again because it sat too long in the washer. It's progress :)
i am so thankful that you keep it real. i identify with so many of your thoughts and i appreciate your honesty.
love your blog always—for its beauty and simplicity,and how your authenticity makes me feel joined rather than apart. thank you.
As always, I love looking at your gorgeous pictures and I love reading your words--and I so, so appreciate your candidness.
The litter box part of your post made me laugh out loud--I needed that!
And I could really relate to feeling "spectacularly average at everything and stellar at nothing". I had that kind of week too. Par for the course with this stage of life, I think!
Thanks!!
Ugh - I'm not surprised you had a meltdown - the dishwasher alone would have finished me off. Hurrah for a lovely husband, and understanding friends, and double hurrah for your honesty - I like it :)
Oh man, I hear ya!! Although I haven't had a formal break down, our recent catastrophe with our puppy Ives, a black cat, a fence, and finally a severely broken dog leg! Nothing like major medical expenses before the holidays.
On a positive note, I am in love with Julie's aesthetic and gorgeous jewelry!! Can't wait to learn more about her and perhaps even meet in person!
Thank you for the word "hangry," which I have not heard before. I totally get "hangry," and now I can call it something. :) I'm sorry the evening was so bad -- I hope you were able to reschedule at a less stressful time!
Post a Comment