I've just passed the three month mark at the new gig, and I finally feel settled...well relatively speaking. To be sure, I'm still flying by the seat of my pants, a lot, but I don't have that deer in the headlights, total and complete idiot feeling I did in the beginning (or at least I have it way less often).
Friends...starting a new job after over a decade at your old one is a humbling enterprise. I went from knowing what I was doing 99% of the time to asking an embarrassing amount of questions of my (infinitely patient) co-workers. Humble pie. But I expected to feel green for a while, that I was unmoored wasn't the surprise.
What was is how much the new job affected all the other aspects of my life. I thought non-stop (and to some degree I still do) about how to do my job well, how to manage the work, how to get things right. It made me distracted, and most distressing, it made me, well (for lack of a more eloquent term)... suck at pretty much everything else. Social life? Vanished. Entertaining? I don't do it. Volunteering at school? Abysmal. Calling friends and family? Never. Personal e-mail? Forget about it. (On that note, sorry if I owe you an e-mail...I'll get to it, I promise.)
Between keeping Bryan and the girlies #1 and navigating the new job, I was totally and completely accounted for and then some.
So now that I'm getting my footing a bit, putting in place some systems, creating a bit of a rhythm if you will, I'm ever so gingerly trying to find balance. I'm trying to figure out how to be a good mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend/career woman/good citizen/creatively balanced person again.
I'll let you know how it goes ;-)
11 comments:
Like you, I am a big believer in balance. There are two things about balance that I have realized:
1. Each person has their own balance.
2. Balance is a constant struggle. Every experience you have will throw you and change what you believe about your balance.
You will get it back! Then lose it, then get it back, etc. But that's the beauty, that's life.
Congrats on changing jobs and learning something new. You will be fantatsic :)
Good luck with it! I think it just takes some time and everything will fall into place.
Ps. that house is everything I like, thanks for sharing
Monika
fibbin
Sounds like at least youre aware of what you got going on which is to say a lot more than most people. And you got to hang out in a swanky house? Coolio!
-Deirdre
I can't express how much it's helped me this morning to know that someone as beautifully competent as yourself sometimes feels like a deer in the headlights, too! Your frankness (not to mention collection of awesome things) is what keeps me coming back to your blog. :)
Joslyn, I can't tell you how much this post speaks to me (as your posts often do). Your bravery and strength are so inspiring. I know that everything will work out for you. You have a wonderful support system and, soon, you'll find that balance. It's always there. Sometimes life's clutter just gets in the way. Patience is everything. Thanks for sharing this!
Good luck - I'm sure you'll work it out. Any major changes (ie. job etc) create some kind of upheaval - even if it's good upheaval. The key is to be aware of the upheaval, be kind to yourself (most important), and know that things will pan out to a more even keel.
I love that you're loving the new job - how awesome is that!
Best, Annie x
I can only imagine! I don't even have a full time job and I can't seem to find a balance and keep my priorities straight. I seem to be constantly distracted in my thoughts and never all there (wherever it is that I am). I'm hoping it is a phase or a season all the while trying to find ways to even it out in the now. I just want to be better at enjoying whatever it is that I'm doing at the moment and when it is time to move on to the next task or wear the next hat than transition smoothly and do that thing with my whole heart. Multi-tasking is ever so tiring!
xo . trina
I just jumped to your "new gig" and can i just say that while the balance may take a while your "new gig" is fabulous I loved every single post, you should be so proud of that! I relate so much being the mother of 3 boys and trying to manage/juggle career/family life, but don't forget to congratulate yourself that all the stress and hard work has paid off ! and it will get easier x thanks for the inspiration
Joslyn -
I totally understand where you are right now, as I just spent three months in-house at a job (I am used to working from home), WHILE keeping all my other clients.
I could barely keep it all together, and the only thing I managed to do besides work was keep the family fed.
It's so hard to juggle it all, and the worst part of it was feeling so disconnected to everything. Like I was sleepwalking or something.
I am in a rhythm of sorts now, but feel so guilty about all the things I can't do with friends, the school, the community, etc., as well.
Hang in there. I know I am (barely!). ;)
It's like having a new baby. It throws everything off for a while. So I say, cut yourself some slack. And also, give yourself a year.
It's like any relationship, you need a full year going through all the seasons to get the total picture. Once you do that, I bet you'll find more 'balance.'
But if you *must* cut somewhere, I'd say go for the good citizen bit. Highly overrated. ;)
i say don't worry about balance as i am not sure it really exists. you are doing what fills you. that is so key and you are showing that to your girls——which is exactly what they need.
bravo to you.
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